Saturday, September 14, 2013

On Love

Day 10: Sept. 14, 2013

I'll be honest, a part of me loves my goats more than I love my children. They are straight forward and they have close to zero needs. I find myself staring at them while they chew on blackberries, while they forage in the lemon balm, and I feel peaceful. I will watch them and wish I could watch for an hour, or a whole afternoon. My children are lovely, they are the lights of my life, but they are needy and they are not peaceful.  

Lately, my human kids and I have been spending a lot of time at home, playing, fighting, painting, jumping, running, and really enjoying each other. Since our goats are still babies, and still new at our house (we've had them for two weeks,) I've been enticing the kids to be out back a lot, eating lunch on the play structure, walking the goats in the forest, playing soccer in the grass next to their fence. At one point, my kids were in the sand box, and the goats were still out, resting near by with their heads perched on each other's back. It was a rare moment.  My free and independent adult side of me, which loves my goats more than my children, merged with the mother side of me which is filled to the brim with all of the complications of motherhood--the love, the panic that they are going to school next week, the feeling that at any moment they might ask too much and I'll boil over. I think its important for these two sides to merge every once in a while. Both sides are legitimate and both sides have problems.

On the coffee front, today I went for a very enjoyable morning run without my kids and stopped at a bagel/coffee joint afterward.  I had my cup! Its funny, as soon as I decided to use the cup all the time, I just use it all the time. I'll let you know when I forget the cup and I'm foaming at the mouth for some decaf and can't have it because I forgot it.

Cups and Bags Challenge: No new emails today. If you use your cup, email me here!  (I know you're out there!  As my best friend from high school will ask me occasionally, r u alive?)


1 comment:

  1. Your goats must be amazing, as I love your other kids. Your watercolor today is disturbing. More!